Corellian Lilies
by lajulie
Summary: Han's missed a lot since he went into carbonite over a year ago. Including...his daughter? He's not the only one trying to make sense of everything that's changed. Post-ESB through ROTJ. AU.
1. Chapter 1

It was like waking up underwater – drowning in air, flailing for the surface. Han gasped and felt himself falling. He put his arm out just in time to break his fall on the cold stone floor.

Everything was dark, even when he opened his eyes. A dark swirl and the sound of his heart pounding in his ears, the rest of his senses screaming at him all at once. He shivered, in a cold sweat as he felt something hold him by the waist and drag him to a semi-upright position.

A strange, metallic-sounding voice, reassuring him. Then her voice: "Someone who loves you." _Leia_. Her lips on his, drowning in each other for a moment.

That horrible laugh. _Jabba_. _Kriff_. Blind, backwards attempts at bargaining with the Hutt as they dragged him away. And dragged Leia Force-knows-where.

Thank the Maker they threw him in with Chewie. Chewie took care of him, gave some shape to the blind confusion that was Han's new world. Although he could hardly believe what Chewie was telling him. _Luke thinks he's a Jedi Knight? Lando's traitor ass came to rescue me? And why in seven hells did you ever let Leia be a part of this?_

[Cub, when was the last time Little Princess let anyone keep her from doing something she was set on doing?] Chewie said. [We all tried, told her to think of who she was leaving behind.] _Who—what?_ [You know how she is when she's on a mission.]

Han wasn't sure whether the fog in his brain was the hibernation sickness (probably), his guilt over Chewie, Leia, Luke, and even kriffing Lando putting themselves in Jabba's way (yes), or the flood of rescue plan details coming at him (also yes), but he couldn't absorb all of what he was hearing. He felt around and found a dry spot to sit down, and let Chewie hold him while he tried to rest.

"Daughter?" Han's face was incredulous. "My…daughter," he said slowly, as if not understanding the words that had come out of his mouth.

Leia's face was a mixture of tenderness and concern, with a hint of a nervous smile on her lips. She looked into Han's eyes and gently put her hand over his. "Our daughter," she confirmed.

Han still looked gobsmacked, and Leia was starting to think that hitting him with this news so soon after the rescue had been a bad idea. But after he had gone from near silence to a full-on rant in the cockpit of the _Falcon_ demanding to know "what the kriffing hell is going on," Chewie had given her a grave look and said, [Time for your talk.]

Han's face softened. "Our…my?" Leia nodded. "Our daughter," he repeated softly.

They were both silent for a moment. Leia seemed suddenly almost shy as she began again. "I got – we….we made her on the way to Bespin. I didn't know I was pregnant until about a month after we got back."

Han felt a rush of regret as he realized, _She had our kid, alone_. _In the middle of the kriffing Rebellion._ "Leia…" he sighed, reaching for her hand again. She squeezed it lightly.

Suddenly he had a horrible thought. "Is she— Are you—"

Leia's smile broadened. "I'm fine. She's fine. She's back with the fleet. You can see her when we get back. If you want."

"Lilya." Han tried out his daughter's name. He smiled his crooked grin, the first time Leia had seen it since Bespin. He reached for her and kissed her tenderly.

Hours later, Han lay awake in his cabin, Leia asleep and cuddled around him. Funny, on their journey to Bespin, it had usually been her whom he'd had to coax to sleep. _Turn that big brain off for awhile, will ya, Princess?_

He'd actually slept better in Jabba's palace dungeon the previous night. And at least at Jabba's, he had a basic idea of what was going on, what to do. "Just stick close to Chewie and Lando," Luke had said, sounding strangely confident for someone who'd just been sentenced to being digested over a thousand years. And then, a whirlwind of blasters and screams, falling over the side of the skiff, pointing a blaster at Lando's head (which had been quite satisfying in the moment) before re-aiming at the tentacle wrapped around his leg (more of a vaguely snake-shaped blur in Han's vision). Then they were all together on the other skiff, taking off as Jabba's barge exploded in a ball of flame. Leia guided him through a sandstorm to the _Falcon_ , a cloak hastily wrapped around whatever humiliating thing Jabba had made her wear.

That's about when Han had started to feel lost again. His improving vision actually made it worse. Now he could see Luke dressed all in black, his face so much more serious now than on Hoth, even when he smiled. He saw the long looks Leia and Luke exchanged before Luke got into his X-wing. "Give her my love," Luke said, and Leia smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Of course. And hurry back, she'll miss you."

He tried to shrug it off, but the hits kept coming. Lando looking a little too comfortable in the captain's chair, and exchanging gentle jokes with Leia, who was no longer giving Lando the ice princess treatment from Cloud City. Mentions of Zanziga, Sullust, of this mysterious Lilya (followed by whoever had said the name hurriedly trying to pretend they hadn't), Lando joining the Alliance (what?), Leia doing Alliance intelligence, something about a Bothan mission…Han was swimming in a pool of names and places and stories that had happened without him. He first tried to follow along, figuring he'd catch up later, but found himself with nothing to say. Nothing. After what felt like the eighteenth significant look between Leia, Lando, and Chewie, he lost it. Then Chewie growled something at Leia and pushed the two of them toward the lounge, where she sat him down and told him that the mysterious Lilya was his daughter, and hers.

He wasn't really sure what to do with this information, or with the thought that Leia had left her child – their child – to help rescue him. He barely knew what to do without the threat of Jabba hanging over his head. He stroked Leia's hair gently. _I did what I had to do_ , she had said. _And I did it for her as well as you. She deserves to know her father_.

Her father. _Come on, brain, turn off and go to sleep, will ya?_


	2. Chapter 2

Chewie guffawed as he entered the room on the Alliance's medical frigate. Han was propped up in bed in a standard-issue med robe, an IV in his arm and sensors hooked up to his chest.

Sure, Han had been to Medical plenty of times, but the only other time he'd worn the robe and stayed in bed for any length of time, he'd been knocked out in an ice cave-in on Hoth and had had no choice in the matter. He always got himself checked out when he needed to – "No use dyin' over somethin' stupid," he liked to say – but he always kept his stay to the bare minimum needed for treatment, and he always stayed in his regular clothes.

Han scowled. "Yeah, yeah, Fuzzball, hilarious. They told me I'm fine, I'm only stayin' 'cause you and Leia ganged up on me."

Chewie and Leia seemed to have formed their own alliance of sorts in Han's absence. Thanks to their weeks traveling to Bespin, Leia was now fluent in Shyriiwook, and the "Little Princess" (to Chewie, all humans were little, so Leia found his name for her endearing rather than demeaning) and the Wookiee made Han get a full workup with Medical before doing anything else. Including flying his beloved _Falcon_.

Chewie was glad to see his friend in typical form. [Hey, we spent a year getting you rescued. Can't let you crash your ship the second we get back. Besides, you need your strength, Cub. You're a father now, after all,] he teased.

"Yeah," Han sighed, running his hand through his hair with a troubled expression. _I'm somebody's father. Kriff._ He definitely wasn't used to that yet.

Chewie's expression turned dark, and he growled softly. [You better not be thinking about running, Cub,] he warned. [I may have a Life Debt to you, but I can still kick your ass. Don't think I won't.] Chewie was clearly only half-joking, if that.

Han was taken aback. "Hey, I ain't going _anywhere,_ " he protested, putting his hands up defensively. "You think I would do that? Why in seven hells would I run out now?" He paused, shaking his head slowly. "It's just…a lot." Chewie nodded and came closer to Han's bedside. "I don't know what the kriffing hell I'm doing."

Chewie laughed again, more softly this time. _Nothing like having a cub to take the swagger off._ [Cub, no father knows what the kriffing hell they're doing. Not at first. Nobody tells you, but it's true.] He patted Han's arm, then changed the subject. [So they gave you the all clear?]

"Yep, just want to hook me up to the jukebox here for the night to make sure nothing funny comes up. From the hibernation sickness, I guess. Should be cleared to fly by tomorrow." Han was looking forward to kicking Lando out of the captain's chair of the _Falcon_ for good.

[Good,] said Chewie. He nodded toward the doorway, where Leia had appeared, a baby balanced on her hip. [I should get going. Back later,] he said, moving toward the door.

"You sure?"

[Yeah, I gotta check the water levels in the recycler,] Chewie said with a wink, before turning to greet Leia and the baby. He turned back. [And Cub?]

Han smiled. "Yeah, yeah, I know. No fucking in the cockpit."

[Right.]

Leia shook her head at Han's vulgar remark, but she was relieved. If Han was making trip-to-Bespin inside jokes, he must be in pretty good shape mentally. After Han and Leia had stopped fighting (as much) and finally got down to admitting their feelings for each other, "checking the water recycler" had become Chewie's standard excuse for leaving so that they could have a private moment. Once, they had made the mistake of enjoying a rather deliciously amorous private moment in Han's seat in the cockpit. The combination of the Wookiee's naturally sensitive olfactory senses and the stress of being cooped up for weeks in the _Falcon_ with two of the most stubborn humans he'd ever encountered made this the last straw. Han and Leia woke that morning to Chewie yelling that they had made the cockpit "stink like fucking," along with an impressive stream of curses in Shyriiwook. They'd mostly confined their activities to the cabin after that.

"Hey, Princess," Han called flirtatiously as she approached.

Leia raised her eyebrow. "Flyboy," she returned.

"Ya want to introduce me to your friend there?" His tone was all breeze and bravado, with little of the intimacy they had come to share. _Interesting choice_ , thought Leia, _but I guess I can hardly blame him_. She had herself been about to slip into Diplomat Leia mode, her past go-to for awkward situations. _There's not exactly a protocol for how to introduce your...lover? boyfriend? whatever…to his four-month-old daughter, whom he just learned existed twenty hours ago._

"Sure. Han, meet your daughter, Lilya." Leia set the baby in Han's lap, facing him, and gently moved his hands so that they were supporting his daughter's back. Lilya wriggled a bit as Leia sat down on the bed beside her.

"Hey, kid, how ya doin'?" Han said, talking to the baby like he was being introduced to some fresh-off-the-farm Alliance recruit. Lilya cooed softly as she looked up at him.

Han's casual stance dropped the minute he looked in Lilya's eyes. The color might not be that deep brown – yet – but those eyes were unmistakably Leia's. The same eyes he'd loved looking into during their weeks traveling together on the _Falcon_. The eyes that flashed fire at him when they argued. The eyes that had watched him with sadness and love as he sank into the carbon freezing chamber at Bespin.

"Wow," was all Han could manage. He couldn't stop looking at his daughter. She wriggled and cooed again, and he smiled his crooked smile at her, a little tentatively.

Leia almost made a comment about the rarity of Han Solo being speechless, but stopped herself. It was hard for her to believe that this moment would ever come, and now, here it was. The three of them, together. Safe, at least for the moment. She felt her eyes tear up a little, and watched in silence as Han played with Lilya's hands, gently squeezing the baby's fists as she squealed happily.

"Lilya, huh," Han said, eyes still on his daughter. "Surprised you didn't name her Breha," he mused, remembering their conversations about Leia's mother.

"I decided being the child of the last princess of Alderaan was enough baggage, much less having the name of the last queen," Leia sighed. "Breha is her middle name. Lilya Breha" – she paused for emphasis – "Organa-Solo."

Han looked over. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but this was a pleasant surprise. To have Leia add "Solo" to Lilya's name amounted to a public announcement that they had been together, at least within the Alliance. _Probably settled a few hundred bets, too_. He didn't know what to say.

"She's beautiful, Leia. Just like you." He put his hand on Leia's cheek and pulled her into a kiss, their daughter sandwiched between them.

The baby got increasingly squirmy, and they pulled apart. "She doesn't like to sit still for very long," Leia explained, picking her up and bouncing her lightly.

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments, when they heard a knock. "Sorry to interrupt," called a voice from the doorway.

General Rieekan came in, clearly on a mission. "Solo, good to see you back with us." He shook Han's hand.

"Thanks, General."

Rieekan turned to Leia. "Princess, General Cracken was wondering whether you could meet with him now on the Tatooine intel. He's got a short window before the Bothan briefing."

"Sure." Leia looked at Han apologetically as she got up. "I'm sorry, I need to go – I can take her to Kara's on the way. I'll come back after." Kara was the wife of one of the pilots in Red Squadron and Lilya's caretaker when Leia was working, or off rescuing scoundrels from Tatooine gangsters.

"You want to leave her here?" Rieekan offered. "I need to talk with Captain Solo, and I haven't gotten any Lilya time in awhile."

Leia smiled and handed the baby over, shaking her head. "You mean you haven't gotten any time _today_. I understand she barely spent any time at Kara's while I was gone." Rieekan had been the head of Bail Organa's Palace Guard before joining the Rebellion, and a good friend of Bail's. He'd run the base on Hoth, and had clearly seen Han and Leia getting together even before they'd been ready to see it. Having lost most of his family in the Alderaanian Disaster, he'd basically taken on the role of Lilya's grandfather, and relished having a baby to spoil again, even if it had to be between briefings and battles. Not to mention that he thought of Leia almost like a daughter, now that his own children and Bail were gone.

"Love to take credit, but it wasn't all me." He looked at Han. "Your daughter is the sweetheart of Rogue Squadron." He took the baby from Leia and made faces most unbecoming a general at the little girl. She crowed with delight.

"All right. I'll be back after I brief Cracken." Leia was clearly shifting into professional mode. She squeezed Han's hand and gave Lilya a quick kiss. "Be good, Sweetpea."

As soon as she left, Rieekan turned his attention to Han while jostling the baby in his arms. "Okay, Solo. You wanted to talk?"


	3. Chapter 3

Lando came in to the med center the next morning just as Leia was leaving for a meeting. Han was watching as Lando's eyes followed her out. Lando made a little cluck of appreciation, then turned to find Han glaring at him.

He didn't seem to notice. "Quite a woman you've got there, buddy."

Han narrowed his eyes. "Don't get any ideas, _buddy_ ," he warned.

"Hey, pirate, I'm not here to fight with you. Besides–" he looked back to where Leia had gone – "I think she just stopped wanting to kill me a couple of months ago."

Han laughed. "I think Chewie still kind of wants to kill you."

"Nah, he just threatens to tear my arms off from time to time." Lando sat down by the bed. "So when do you get to break out of here?"

"Any minute now. Just waitin' on the docs." He looked at Lando. "Then I'm takin' my ship back. For good."

Lando put his hands up. "Hey, don't look at me! I kept her real nice for you, I swear. I didn't even stay in your quarters."

Han suspected that had more to do with fearing the wrath of Chewie and Leia than with any consideration on Lando's part. But Lando _had_ spent the last year running around looking for him..."So what's this I hear about you runnin' missions for the Alliance?"

"Ah, yeah. You can thank your Princess for that," Lando said. "She figured out how to send Chewie and me out on a few intelligence missions that just _happened_ to take us to where Boba Fett was last spotted. Think we even managed to foil a couple of plots against the Alliance while we were at it." Lando sounded impressed, though Han couldn't tell whether he was more impressed with Leia or with himself.

"Not bad. Not bad," Han said, nodding.

"You know she was the one who planned the rescue at Jabba's, right?"

Han snorted. "Getting captured and almost fed to the Sarlacc was a _plan_?" He was going to have to tell Leia her plans needed some work.

Lando shook his head. "No, no, that was your Jedi's fault. He was sure he'd be able to use his powers for some kind of mind trick and convince Jabba to let you go. Leia's plan was to get Chewie in there so he could help. She had about four scenarios in there in case something went wrong." _Yeah, four scenarios sounds more like Leia_ , Han thought.

"So, you stickin' around?" Han asked.

Lando nodded. "Yeah. They made it worth my while."

"Careful, that's how they suck you in."

"You should know," Lando chuckled. "So what about you? You officially joining up?"

"Already have," Han said, recalling his talk with Rieekan, whom he'd called as soon as he'd gotten settled in at Medical, determined to take that commission he'd been offered on Hoth, or whatever else they were willing to offer.

"I'm glad you commed me," Rieekan had said after Leia left for her meeting with Cracken. "Madine and I had something in mind that you'd be the perfect person for, if you're up for it." Han would be commissioned as an Alliance general and would be leading a covert special operations mission, details to be revealed at a briefing with Madine as soon as the docs let him go.

Lando smiled. "She went all in for you, buddy. Glad to hear you're going all in too."

* * *

The briefing with Madine went well, and Han already had a good start on assembling the strike team. Now if he could just find Leia. She'd promised that they could get lunch together between her morning and afternoon meetings.

He spotted her chatting with Wedge Antilles outside one of the briefing rooms. _Wait a second – is Leia…flirting with him?_ She had always been somewhat friendly with most of the Rogues, from hanging out with Luke, but she'd also been so concerned about being respected as a leader and keeping things professional that she had kept everyone a little at arm's length. Now she was giving Wedge the same raised eyebrows and teasing expressions that he thought only he and Luke got to see.

Wedge was clearly teasing her back. He grabbed her hand gently as she started to turn away. "C'mon, _Commander_ , you're not gonna leave us hanging, are you? Tomorrow night, 2100 hours. No excuses." He spotted Han walking toward them. "And, y'know, you can even let Solo tag along…if you want." He winked.

Leia laughed. "All right, all right," she said, waving him off. She greeted Han with a quick kiss. "Ready for lunch?"

Han looked back briefly at Wedge as he and Leia headed to the mess. "What was that all about?"

Leia was nonchalant. "Oh, now that everyone's back, the Rogues are getting their sabacc game back together."

 _This is new_. "Since when do you play sabacc?"

Leia shot him a look that said _Seriously?_ "For weeks. On the _Falcon_. With you and Chewie."

"No, since when do you play sabacc with the _Rogues_?"

"Mmm. That's a long story involving a very pregnant lady," she sighed.

"You the pregnant lady in this story?"

Leia laughed. "Yes. Are you going to come? I usually bring Lilya, too."

Han was trying to process that. Leia looked at him. "What?"

"Sorry, I'm just having a little trouble picturing a sabacc game that is appropriate for a princess, much less a baby."

"Well, I usually cut her off after one whiskey, so…." Leia teased.

Han shook his head. _This is…a very different Princess from the one on Hoth._ "I guess I'm in?"

"Good."

* * *

By nightfall, Han had checked off most of the things he had wanted to do after escaping from Medical. The only loose end on his mission was the shuttle command crew; he didn't want to just assume he could get Chewie or anyone else, but he had another day or two to get that settled. Thanks to Lando and Chewie, the _Falcon_ was in good shape, and he finally got in some flying time with her. Leia and Lando managed to make it out of their respective meetings in time to enjoy a delicious Wookiee-made dinner with them on the _Falcon_ , Leia having stopped to pick up Lilya on her way.

It was not that different than some of the better meals they'd had on the way to Bespin, except Lando was with them, and they no longer had to deal with the underlying dread of What Happens After We Get There. Lando and Chewie held court, telling stories about their various close calls and adventures together, which were, of course, much more enjoyable to talk about now that they'd survived. And Chewie only threatened to pull Lando's arms out once.

Leia had a few stories of her own, peppered with wry comments like, "What the hell were wind chimes doing in a Hutt's palace?" and her strategies for keeping herself from throwing up from the beyond-awful stench inside Boushh's mask (find the least rancid smell and concentrate on that).

Lilya fussed softly, and Leia rocked her in her arms until she settled down. She gently placed her daughter in the sling she was wearing and got up to help clear the dishes.

[No, no, Little Princess, I've got those.]

"But Chewie, you cooked! We're supposed to clean up."

[No, why don't you take Cub on a walk instead. He needs the exercise. And I already checked the water recycler today,] he chuffed.

Han was amused. "Are you trying to kick me out of my own ship?"

[Are you thick? Yes, it's been a wonderful evening, now get out!]


	4. Chapter 4

Han was quiet as he and Leia walked through the base, which was mostly deserted at this hour. It was strange being together in this setting. They'd been friends on Hoth, and lovers in Bespin, but they were still figuring out how to be…whatever they were, now that they were both back with the Alliance. They weren't even fighting; most people who knew them on Hoth had already commented on that. And with the imprisonment, the hibernation sickness, and the night in Medical, they hadn't yet had a chance to renew their physical relationship. _If she even wants to_ , thought Han, trying to brace himself if she wasn't interested. After all, things had definitely changed.

They walked over to one of the observation areas and looked out at the sky. Han pulled Leia close, his arm around her waist. She looked up at him, and they kissed. Their kiss grew deeper, and Han pulled her closer, only to be stopped by the baby Leia was wearing.

"Sorry," Han said.

Leia continued looking in his eyes. "Don't be sorry." She shifted the sling to the side slightly, so that she could kiss him without crushing Lilya, and wrapped an arm around his neck. They kissed passionately, and Han began to kiss down Leia's neck and collarbone. She moaned softly.

"Maybe we should take this back to the ship," whispered Han.

Leia shook her head. "No crib on the _Falcon_."

Han was stifling a sigh of disappointment when Leia began to pull him toward the officers' quarters. "This way. Come on."

Han smirked. "Princess, are you inviting me back to your _quarters_ at this hour? Is that proper? Aren't you concerned about what people will _say_?"

Leia rolled her eyes at him. _Really_? "Shut up, unless you want me to change my mind."

Han shut up and followed her.

* * *

Leia's room had the usual spare design of Alliance crew quarters, with a few minor modifications. There was a small sitting area, a larger-than-usual bed in the main bunk, and a small closet-like nook in another corner, which Leia opened to reveal a crib and changing table.

She waved him toward the sitting area. "Go have a drink. It'll take me a little while to put her down for bed." She had produced a bottle from a small refrigerator in the room and was warming it up for Lilya, who had started to fuss again.

Han opened the locker in the sitting area to find glasses and a few bottles of liquor, including, to his surprise, a bottle of Corellian whiskey. The good stuff, too, not that cheap shit. "You steal this from the _Falcon_?" he asked, waving the bottle after he poured a glass for himself.

Leia looked up from where she was feeding Lilya. "No, Chewie gave that to me when I had Lilya. Haven't had much of it yet. I was a bit of a lightweight after not drinking for so long."

"You want one?"

"Please."

He poured another glass and looked around. He'd only been to Leia's quarters on Hoth a handful of times – the _Falcon_ was a better place for gathering, and Leia seemed to spend most of her time in the command center anyway. These quarters had a little more…personality to them, he noticed. _Not that anything on that ice block ever had much personality._ He recognized a couple of the small things he and Chewie had brought her over the years, mostly artwork or trinkets made by Alderaani craftspeople. Even if they were knockoffs – and some of them undoubtably were – Leia always seemed touched by the reminder of her home world.

Leia had moved Lilya to the changing table, singing softly while changing her diaper. Han didn't recognize the song, but heard the lilt of Alderaani speech in it. He sipped his drink and listened as Leia talked to their daughter in a soft voice, and Lilya made little gurgling noises in response.

"Can you take her for a moment? I need to wash my hands." Han turned to see Leia holding Lilya out to him.

"Sure." He tried to make that sound more confident than he felt. Despite their good introduction, he still felt pretty awkward with the baby. Especially since everyone else he encountered seemed to hold and cuddle her like they'd been doing it their entire lives. Chewie and Lando had been arguing about who would be her favorite uncle, passing her around at dinner and making ridiculous faces at her in between their stories.

Leia handed him the baby and then disappeared into the 'fresher attached to the room. _Well, here goes nothing_ , Han thought, looking at Lilya as he held her awkwardly. She squirmed, arms flailing, and screwed up her face like she was about to cry. He quickly adjusted his hold, so that she was facing him, cradled in his arms, and she seemed to get distracted by…his face? "Hey…" he greeted her softly.

Leia exited the fresher to find Han and Lilya quietly staring at each other. Han looked up with relief to see her.

"You're doing great," Leia encouraged. She didn't want to break the spell, although she did rather want to get to the adult portion of the evening before it got too late.

Minutes later, Lilya was in her crib with a wind-up music box playing ("If we're lucky, she'll be asleep before the song ends," said Leia) and Han was handing Leia her glass of whiskey.

She took a sip and looked at him over her glass. "Hey."

"Hey."

Moments later, their glasses were abandoned, and their lips came together, slow and tender at first, then growing in intensity. Han pulled Leia onto his lap as they kissed, their hands roaming over each other.

It was like the first time and the last time they'd made love all in one – the tentative discovery, the gentle touches, the "I love yous" breathed on each other's skin, coupled with the urgency of finding their joy, of burning so hard, so bright, because they might never have a chance again.

Afterward, they collapsed together on the bunk, their breaths punctuated with gentle kisses on each other's skin.

"I missed you." Leia was tracing the curve of Han's shoulder with her finger.

"I missed you too." He took her back into his arms, her head resting on his chest. They lay there, breathing together for a few minutes.

He looked up at their surroundings. "Nice bunk."

"Thanks."

"It's a little bigger than the usual one, ain't it?" Han gave her a devilish look. "You play the princess card to get this?"

She laughed softly. "No, I played the pregnant card to get this. You should've seen me. I was huge. No way was I going to get any sleep in a single bunk."

Han's face darkened a little. He still felt guilty for the time he'd lost. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at him. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"You were alone."

"I wasn't. Chewie and Lando were here when they could be, and I had Luke with me most of the time. He's been… amazing. He was with me when she was born."

Han wasn't sure whether to be thankful or jealous about that.

"We kind of…helped each other," Leia reflected.

Han remembered how serious Luke had looked after the rescue. "He okay?"

"I think so. I…I don't know. Something happened, at Bespin."

"Heard Vader cut his hand off and he almost fell into a gas giant and died. That's somethin'." Lando had told him about Leia somehow knowing where Luke was, and insisting they go back.

Leia was pensive. "Yeah… there's something else. I just don't know what."

"You think Vader messed with his head?" Leia hadn't told Han everything about her time on the Death Star, but he knew that the mental and physical torture she'd endured still gave her nightmares. And that Vader had a particular knack for invading a person's brain, though he'd failed in getting what he wanted out of Leia's.

"Maybe. Probably."

Han kissed her forehead. "He'll be back soon. He's a good kid. He'll figure it out." He sighed. Luke was his friend, too, but Han was not loving that he was talking about Luke while in bed with Leia. He switched gears. "So, any other things you get with that pregnant card?"

"Well, it comes with a baby at the end," Leia laughed. "I did get a crib. And some soundproofing for the walls."

" _Real_ -ly." Han was intrigued. "And here I was tryin' to be quiet just now."

Leia rolled her eyes. "It's a security measure. So people can't hear her crying. We should still be kind of quiet, so we don't wake her up." She paused. "Plus, I don't think the High Command would be as tolerant of our sex noises as Chewie is."

Han snickered. "Ha, now I'm picturing the look on Dodonna's face."

Leia hit him with the pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

_One of the strangest games of sabacc I've ever played_ , thought Han, surveying the scene. And he'd played in Mos Eisley with a gang of Rodians, so he knew from strange.

Part of the strangeness was the fact that everyone at the table was so…casual about having a baby there, and that it didn't seem to cramp anyone's style. At various times, baby Lilya had been draped over Wedge's arm as he placed his bets and drank his whiskey; bounced on Janson's knee as he talked trash about Tycho's landing earlier that day; cradled in Hobbie's arms as he fed her a bottle; and "flown" by Tycho while Lando was dealing the next hand. After a diaper change, Chewie had wrapped her in a blanket and secured her on his bandolier, where she was sleeping snuggled up to his chest.

The other thing was Leia. She was drinking Corellian whiskey, talking a little trash, and cracking jokes, albeit still in the quiet, sardonic way she'd done when they'd played on the _Falcon_. Han had seen this side of her – he _loved_ this side of her, honestly – but he'd never seen her act this way at the base. She was also quite the card player, which Lando had learned the hard way when she'd bluffed him last hand.

Chewie chortled. [I told you she was good.]

Lando took a long drink from his glass. "I was expecting good. I wasn't expecting _that_."

Leia shrugged. "I picked up a few things from playing on the _Falcon_."

While the Rogues strained themselves not to use that statement for an entire line of lewd jokes, Chewie yowled a response that made Han punch him in the arm, Lando laugh out loud, and Leia blush, although she was laughing too.

Janson was dying. "What? What'd he say?"

Leia's face was still a little pink. "He said, 'Yeah, occasionally they did make it out of the cabin long enough to play a hand or two.'"

After a few more hands, Leia called Threepio and asked him to meet her at her quarters to watch Lilya.

Han was not a fan of this idea. "You're gonna have _Goldenrod_ babysit our kid?" Wedge and Janson nudged each other, amused.

Leia shook her head. "It'll be _fine_. She'll be asleep, right down the hall. Threepio's just going to be there in case she wakes up. Like a monitor. He'll comm us if she needs anything." She took Lilya from Chewie and started down the hall, then stopped and turned around. "Don't drink my whiskey," she warned, pointing at Han. He gave her a little salute.

"Han Solo, domesticated." Lando was smug behind his cards. Han said nothing but flipped him a rude gesture as he picked up his own hand.

"So, how did this all start?" Han waved his hand around to indicate the card game, Leia in the card game, Leia and a baby hanging out with the Rogues….

Wedge chuckled. "Blue milk," he said.

* * *

 **Six months earlier…**

 _Third night in a row_ , Wedge noticed, as the Princess trudged past the Rogues' late-night card game on her way to the mess. He was headed there himself, getting a little ice to water down the rotgut whiskey Jansen had saddled them with.

She was at the cooler, pulling out one of Skywalker's bottles of blue milk and pouring herself a glass. "Hey," he greeted.

She smiled tiredly. "Hey." She put the glass down and slowly set herself down at one of the tables. With her small frame, at seven months pregnant she was practically all baby, and her movements had gotten a lot slower in the last few weeks.

Wedge turned back to her after filling his cup with ice. "How's the little Corellian doing? Keeping you up?"

She rubbed her belly gently. "She's fine. But yeah, she likes to do somersaults at night. And give me heartburn." She nodded toward her glass. "The milk seems to help."

 _She's lonely_ , Wedge realized. He remembered that Luke was on a mission and wouldn't be back until next week. And word had it that Chewie and Lando weren't expected to check back in for awhile. Their last set of reports hadn't been promising on finding Han.

She and Luke had been thicker than thieves over the last several months, spending most of the time they weren't working talking at each other's quarters, eating meals together, hanging out in the evenings. In fact, if it hadn't been for the Princess rather boldly sharing in a joint briefing that she and Solo were expecting a child, Wedge might have been inclined to assume that Luke, not Han, was the baby's father. That rumor had been floating around the Alliance among some of the younger recruits, the ones who hadn't seen Han and Leia on Hoth. For everyone else, the main surprise was not that Solo and the Princess had finally gotten together, but that she was being so open about it.

 _She needs a friend_ , Wedge thought. She was still the amazing leader she'd been on Hoth, the face of the Rebellion, and one of the hardest workers he knew, but when she stopped moving for a moment, you could see the tinge of sadness that followed her now. Luke had a little bit of it too these days. Maybe that's why they spent so much time together.

"Hey, why don't you come over with us? I can't let a lady drink alone."

A little bit of a smart grin crept over her face. "Who says I'm a lady?"

Wedge grinned back. _Well, at least she still has her sense of humor._ "C'mon. You don't have to play, just sit with us."

Leia considered it for a minute. "Okay, sure."

Wedge came over, helped her get up, and carried her glass of blue milk. As they walked over to the table where the Rogues were dealing a new hand, he noticed her tighten the top of the robe she was wearing to cover the visible part of the shirt underneath. _She's wearing Solo's shirt to bed_ , he realized.

Janson sat up straight when they reached the table. "Your Highness."

Wedge pulled up a new chair for her, and she nodded in Janson's direction as she sat down.

Tycho was dealing. He snuck a glare at Wedge – _what did you bring_ her _over here for?_ – then looked at Leia. "Your Highness. You playin'?"

Leia took a sip of blue milk. "Maybe. What's the game?"

Wedge was trying to be a good host. "It's sabacc, but we could, uh…play something else next hand if you want to play." Tycho glared at him again.

She shook her head. "No, I'm good. Deal me in, Lieutenant."

The Rogues exchanged a series of surprised looks. Sabacc was not really a game that members of most royal houses – or respectable families, for that matter – would admit to playing. "The best sabacc players are the best liars," the saying went. Even for scrappy Rebel pilots, it was a little bit of a scoundrel's game, which was probably why they liked it. Although it was true that even Rieekan had been known to sit in on a few hands.

Janson recovered first. "Have you played before?"

Leia raised an eyebrow at him, and he looked a little terrified, but her tone was amused. "I spent almost six weeks on the _Millennium Falcon_ traveling sublight. So, yes, I've played."

Five hands later, Leia had won three times, once so decisively that she'd nearly cleaned everyone out. _Nice, Solo_ , Wedge thought. _Seduce her and teach her how to take all of our money. Very Corellian of you._ He was glad to see a little of the old Leia fire peeking through. Maybe more – he'd hung out with her a bit with Luke, but she didn't usually let as much of her humor come out with the group as she had tonight. She headed off to the mess to wash her glass before going to bed.

Janson watched her leave with a little bit of awe.

"Did that just happen? Did we just play sabacc with… the last Princess of Alderaan?"

Wedge corrected him. "No. What happened was, you got your ass handed to you in sabacc by the last Princess of Alderaan."


	6. Chapter 6

The morning of the joint briefing, Han still didn't have a shuttle command crew for his mission.

He'd been putting it off. He knew whom he _wanted_. He knew they'd do it if he asked. But he didn't want to ask. Not after all Chewie, Leia, and Luke had sacrificed to bring him back.

He wanted the choice to be theirs. If Leia wanted to stay behind with Lilya and prepare for the next phase of the Alliance, she could do that. If Chewie wanted to go home for some long-overdue time with Malla, he could. If Luke wanted to…go off and do whatever the hell it was the Jedi do, he could do that.

Han had decided to leave it open until the joint briefing. If they volunteered, he had the crew he wanted. If they didn't, he'd draw from the squads he already had on the strike team.

What had clinched his decision was the conversation he'd had with Leia when she returned from her meeting with High Command yesterday.

She'd arrived at the _Falcon_ with Lilya, smiling, but a little subdued. His casual question about her meeting had been met with an expression best described as _sour_.

"What happened?" he'd asked.

She'd tried to shrug it off. "Oh, nothing."

"No, c'mon. What is it?"

She'd sighed. "I think they're trying to put me back in the bunker."

It was an old fight, one Leia clearly thought she'd won.

After the awards ceremony on Yavin, Leia was supposed to go underground, for her own protection. She was supposed to be a princess, figurehead of the Rebellion, inspiration for the troops. She wasn't supposed to become a warrior herself.

Someone had forgotten to tell her that. Well, actually, they hadn't – she just hadn't listened. She'd spent much of the time on their first base frustrated; when she wouldn't just go into hiding, they'd made her a Commander but had given her only the most ceremonial, trivial assignments, when they'd given her assignments at all. She was still included in High Command meetings as the surviving ruler of Alderaan, and in deference to her father's role in establishing the Alliance, but rarely was she given anything of substance to do, despite her having regularly run missions back when she was serving in the Imperial Senate.

So she'd fought to prove herself. She'd taken on jobs nobody asked her to, volunteered herself for missions, drawn up strategies, identified diplomatic opportunities, turned her personnel roster and supply inventory assignments into a procurement operation for the base.

Han had, of course, given her no end of grief for it at the time. If he wasn't making fun of her latest softball assignment, he was wondering why she insisted on staying in the command center long after her shift should have ended, or taking her serious commitment to the Alliance as a serious commitment to being a stick in the mud.

But he'd also been one of the few people who would treat her like an equal, let her pull her own weight on missions, argue with her when he disagreed, remind her that she couldn't subsist on kaffe and sleeplessness.

Eventually, her responsibilities and influence had started to match her considerable skills. Things had gotten significantly better with Rieekan in command; he'd not only recognized her value, but had practically made her his second.

Now, after all that, she was being denied a role in this latest offensive, arguably the most important initiative since Yavin. And several members of High Command had suggested that perhaps this was the time to go back into protective custody.

"It's not that I want to leave Lilya," she'd said to Han, "but I feel like they've already decided _for_ me." She'd gotten quiet. "This is _the_ fight, Han. I can feel it. If they have another Death Star, there will be another Alderaan. I want to stop it this time."

* * *

Luke was grateful for the long flight from Dagobah to Sullust. When he'd been learning to fly, Biggs had warned him how important it was to keep his mind on what he was doing, but not _too_ focused on what he was doing. Too many pilots crashed either because they were preoccupied with something unrelated – what they were going to do when they landed, the fight they'd had with their girlfriend, what they'd had for breakfast – or because they were so focused on their task that they lost perspective and overthought their every move.

That balance had never been a problem for Luke. He found that flying actually helped him quiet and focus his mind, his thoughts still there, but not bombarding him the way they often did after he landed. Of course, he'd gotten much better on that front since he began his Jedi training, but it was like the Force had always been with him when he was in the cockpit.

He was also grateful to have somewhere to go, somewhere he'd promised to be. Yoda's confirmation of Vader's revelation was not a surprise – if he was honest with himself, he'd known it to be true for the last year – but it had thrown too many things into doubt. As long as he could remember, he'd yearned for a father, longed to at least know more about where he came from. To have that yearning answered with _this_ was like some kind of cruel trick. Frankly, without his friends waiting for him back at the fleet, he would have been tempted to throw himself into the swamps of Dagobah and be done with it all.

He was still angry with Ben, although he was trying to let go of that anger, like Ben, ironically enough, had taught him. "What I told you was true, from a certain point of view." Han would rightly call that "a royal crock of bantha shit." He smiled, thinking of his friend, then chuckled a bit, thinking of the fact that Han would have been introduced to Lilya by now. _Wonder how that's going._

He suspected Han would actually be a lot better at fatherhood than one might expect, once he got used to the idea. And Lilya—well, how could Han _not_ fall in love with Lilya? First of all, she looked just like her mother, except for that little Han curl in her lip. Everyone was drawn to her; Luke could feel that her light in the Force was especially strong. And she was a living sign of Han and Leia's love.

Not that they needed one, necessarily. Luke had been able to feel the bond growing between Han and Leia in the Force for some time. He had to admit, sometimes he was jealous of it, even when he saw how much pain it caused them when they were apart. He wished for that kind of pain for himself, sometimes.

He'd been in love with each of them for awhile, but in both cases his feelings had resolved into a different kind of love. The closest comparison was to a sibling bond, but it was deeper than that. Almost like a platonic life partner.

Of course, with Leia, he now knew that it was literally a sibling bond between them. A twin bond, no less. He was still struggling with how and when to tell her about that. On the one hand, he was eager to be officially her brother as well as her friend. On the other…Vader. How to break that news? _So, the good news is, you're my long-lost twin sister! Bad news is, remember that guy who tortured you and has done any number of unspeakable things to you and the people you love, not to mention the galaxy? He's actually our father!_

He was feeling a little resentful of his Jedi masters, to be honest. They couldn't have told him before he went to face Vader? They had to wait until he got blindsided? And although they'd warned him not to go, if he hadn't, where would Han, Leia, and Chewie be now? Would Vader just have killed Han, instead of using him to test the freezing chamber? Would Leia and Chewie ever have escaped? Wouldn't Vader have eventually sensed Leia's power in the Force and gone after her too? Would Lilya even have been born?

He decided to put all of that to the side for now, and concentrate on helping the Alliance. There was time to tell Leia everything she needed to know. And if he needed to face Vader again, as Yoda had advised, it's not like he needed to do it right this second. He sensed that he would know when it was the right time.

As he approached the docking bay at Sullust, he was reminded of another landing, almost a year ago, after a few days away on a mission. Leia had been there to greet him, which wasn't unusual, especially since their return from Bespin.

What was unusual about Leia that day was that she had looked happy, for the first time in weeks. Since Bespin, she'd put up a brave front, and it had probably convinced most people she was okay, but it hadn't really been holding. Luke knew from their frequent talks that her time with Han had changed her, had taken down some of her walls. With Han lost, possibly forever, Luke had seen her desperately trying to put them back up. But not that day.

"What is it?" he'd asked, after greeting her with a hug.

She'd smiled at him and said, "In a minute," indicating that she wanted to wait until they were away from the rest of the ground personnel.

When they were alone, he asked her again, and she'd responded in an uncharacteristically rambling sort of way, shaking her head.

"It doesn't really make sense that I'd be happy about this. It's terrible timing, and we don't even know where Han _is_ , and we're in the middle of a war, and I don't know what I'm doing, and—"

Luke stopped her gently. "Leia? Tell me."

She looked at him and smiled like she was trying not to, but couldn't help it. "I'm pregnant."

 _So that's what it was_. Since Bespin, Leia's presence in the Force had felt different to Luke, but he hadn't known why.

"And you're happy!" It was a statement, not a question. Luke could feel Leia's happiness radiating from her. There was still sadness, and worry, and definitely a cloud of fear in there too. But hope and happiness were leading at that moment.

"For no logical reason," she'd replied. _Ah, yes, there's the overthinking_.

"Because you're having a baby!" Luke had grinned, but part of him wanted to shake her. _Sometimes it's right, even if it doesn't make sense, Leia._

Her smile had grown. "Because I'm having a baby." Luke had heard her unspoken words: _Because I'm having Han's baby._


	7. Chapter 7

"Once we touch down, Commander Organa and Commander Skywalker will be on reconnaissance. The droids will handle any translations or technical needs. Squad leaders, we'll need continuous backup – don't have much intel on the moon or the shield generator yet, so we may have to change our approach once we get there."

Han was giving the final briefing for the strike team and his newly recruited shuttle command crew – Chewie, Luke, and Leia – on the Endor mission.

"Remember, if it goes according to plan, we're in there before they even figure out we landed. And if it don't…" here Han grinned, "at least we got good blasters on our side."

He looked over the strike team. "Any questions? All right. See you at mission launch."

Thirty-six more hours.

* * *

 _Damn military meetings go on forever. Now I remember why I stopped doing that shit._ Han was finally making his way back to Leia's quarters after the coordination meeting with Ackbar, Calrissian, and Madine.

"I'm not sure you should be using the Force for _that_." Han could hear Leia's voice from the other side of her door, then her laugh.

 _What the kriffing hell—_

"It's fine, I swear. Come on, she'll love it." Luke's voice.

Han knocked.

"Why don't we let Han decide," Leia said, opening the door.

"Let me decide what?"

Luke was sitting on the floor, cross-legged, and had Lilya on the floor with him. She seemed enthralled with him. Well, as enthralled as a four-month-old could be.

"Lilya loves to bounce, so I was going to pick her up with the Force and bounce her around a little bit. But Leia doesn't want me to," Luke pouted.

Han looked unsure. "Uh…you're not gonna drop her, are ya?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "Never mind." He turned to Lilya and grinned in her face. "You would love it, right?" She gurgled happily, smiling up at him, and he jumped up and began sweeping her around the room in a flying motion. Lilya began laughing and cooing.

Leia shook her head, smiling. "He turns into a kid around her."

"He _is_ a kid."

"You do realize that we're the same age, right?" She put her arm around Han gently.

Han continued to watch Luke with Lilya. _Kinda looks like_ he's _her father_ , he thought. They seemed to have such an easy rapport, even more so than all her other adoring fans. _They get each other_ , he thought, and then shook his head, almost laughing at how ridiculous he sounded to himself. _What's to get? She's a baby, she doesn't get anything yet_. He turned back to Leia, who was watching him.

"You know, he hasn't seen her in awhile. He went to Tatooine early, to take care of some family stuff," Leia explained.

Han immediately felt guilty at the mention of Tatooine. _I should be thanking him_ , he thought, although he realized he'd already done that. "He's really good with her," he observed.

Leia regarded Han quietly. "He is," she agreed. "I think he's her favorite. Don't tell Chewie." She was watching Han's face. "But you're her father."

Han made a noise that was almost a sigh.

Leia continued. "You met her five days ago. He's known her for a lot longer. Plus, he has some Jedi thing" –she waved her hand a bit here– "They connect, somehow."

They watched Luke fly Lilya around the room for a few more minutes. Then Luke made a face and carried her back to them.

"Someone needs her diaper changed." Luke started to deposit Lilya into Han's arms. Han looked at Leia helplessly.

Luke raised an eyebrow and looked at her too. "Don't tell me he hasn't changed any diapers yet."

She shrugged. "I was letting him ease into things."

"I was changing diapers the first _day_!"

"You volunteered to help. And I was a little tired the first day, you know, from _giving birth_ and all." She waved them toward the changing table. "Go show him how it's done."

While Han and Luke took Lilya to the changing table, Leia grabbed her drink and plunked down in the sitting area, listening. Even though changing a diaper wasn't difficult, and not that different from patching up an injured Wookiee, Han was obviously still in the phase where he was extra worried about doing everything just right. She herself had taken a few weeks to relax and get past that.

Luke was taking advantage of his position to get in a little teasing at Han's expense. She heard him tell Han that singing was a "required part" of the diaper change. Lilya did like singing, but it wasn't exactly _required_.

Han was game. "Alright. So like, what kind of singing?"

Luke's face was dead serious. "She prefers up-tempo ballads, usually. Songs from musicals, that sort of thing. Something you can belt out."

 _Ooh, you almost had him until that last part_ , Leia thought.

Han turned the tables. "You gonna demonstrate? I just wanna make sure I'm gettin' it right."

Leia turned in her chair, propping her legs up on the side, as Luke tried to come up with a comeback to that. He looked at her. "What're you doing?"

"Waiting for my concert," she said innocently. "You know, a nice up-tempo ballad. Something you can _belt out_."

Neither Luke nor Leia was prepared for Han's baritone, belting out the main chorus from one of the better-known Corellian light operas, _The Smuggler and Satine_. He swept Lilya into his arms and continued singing as he danced around the room with her.

"Oh, my," Luke said. Leia was speechless at first, then dissolved into laughter.

Han made another round of the room and then handed Lilya back to Leia with a flourish.

"Be back in a moment. I need to wash my hands."

* * *

Hours later, Leia was watching Han as he placed gentle kisses up her shoulder.

He wasn't overly talkative after sex, as a rule, but tonight he seemed especially quiet and pensive. And his kisses were reminding Leia of how he'd been the night before they'd reached Bespin. He'd kissed her all over, slowly, touched her face, looked into her eyes, over and over again. Like he was trying to memorize her.

She looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back, but he still looked a little bit…sad.

"Han, what is it?"

"What?" He avoided her gaze.

She looked into his eyes. "What is it?" she said, more gently this time.

He didn't answer right away, then took a deep breath and exhaled. "We're leavin' her."

Leia felt a rush of emotions – joy and relief at hearing his love for Lilya, sadness for his sadness, a small bit of guilt and regret knowing that she had made the decision to leave her daughter as well. She wanted to wrap him in her arms and hold him, reassure him that it would be all right. But she didn't know that herself.

She reached up to touch his face. "We are. Hopefully just for a little while."

They were both quiet for a moment.

"You're not regretting…volunteering, are you?"

"No, no. Just kind of hit me, what it meant."

The next question was harder for Leia to say. "Do you wish I'd decided to stay behind with her?"

Han pulled her closer. "No, no. Only if you wanted to. Otherwise I'd be leaving you both, again." He kissed her forehead. "'Sides, I need you on the team. I've run enough missions for the Alliance to know who I wanted on my command crew."

Leia smiled at him. "We do make a good team." She kissed him, and they grew quiet again.

"It was a lot easier to leave…before, wasn't it," Leia observed, thinking of his past life, before they were together.

Han sighed. "Sweetheart, it hasn't been easy to leave in a very long time."


	8. Chapter 8

"Thought I'd find you here," Luke said to Han's feet. Han was in the spare cabin on the _Falcon_ , half into one of the circulation ducts.

Han poked his head out and smirked. "Yeah, imagine that, finding me in my own ship."

Luke shrugged. "Hey, I come back and you're a fancy general now. You might be spending all your time being big and important somewhere, I don't know."

"Being a general don't make me fancy," Han corrected, "and you should talk, Fancy Jedi Knight." He grinned.

 _Not quite yet_ , thought Luke, but he left that one alone for the moment. He noticed the tools and supplies strewn around the cabin. "What are you working on? I thought Lando had finished fixing everything on the _Falcon_ already. He was supposed to do that before we went to Tatooine."

"He and Chewie fixed all the major systems, hyperdrive, shields, all that. Air system in here has always been a little squirrelly, so I'm just checkin' it out. And I got a little project," he said, motioning vaguely to the pile of supplies behind him. "What brings you here?"

Luke was a little nervous. "Uh…wanted to talk to you. You got anything to drink?"

Han gave him a sideways look, but said nothing and led Luke to the lounge, where he took out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

He slid Luke a glass of whiskey. "Okay, kid, what in seven hells 's got _you_ drinkin' in the middle of the day?"

Luke took a sip. _How long do you have_? he thought. _But I'm not really ready to get into all of that…_."I just—I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize? What the hell for?"

"Well, for what happened in Bespin. I—"

Han shook his head and set his glass down, a little hard. "Nope. Not doin' it."

Luke was taken aback. "You won't forgive me?"

"No, I won't listen to this bantha shit about you needin' to apologize for what happened."

Luke tried to explain. "Vader was torturing you to get to _me_."

"I _know_ what Vader was doin'. But that don't make it your fault."

"Han, I—"

"I said NO." Han's face was kind, but stern. "Every single one of you thinks it was your fault, and I ain't takin' it. Lando—okay, it was a little bit Lando's fault, but Vader didn't give him much of a choice. Leia thinks it's her fault because I went back to the kriffin' command center to get her out, instead of leaving her to die on that iceball. Hell, Chewie blames himself because he took the _Falcon_ apart when we were getting ready to leave and didn't notice the hyperdrive motivator was shot. And if you really want to blame someone— that bounty hunter wouldn't even have been _interested_ if I weren't so deep in hock with Jabba." He took another drink. "You know who's to blame? Vader. That's who. Nobody else."

Luke cringed inwardly when he thought about telling Han about Vader. _Definitely not today._

Han finished his drink and put down his glass. "Actually, I'm kinda glad we have a chance to talk. I—need to thank you."

Luke smiled, relaxing a little bit. "You already thanked me on Tatooine."

"That was for the rescue. Wanted to thank you for looking out for Leia while I was gone. Helpin' her out. And Lilya."

"Of course." Luke took another drink. "She's something else, isn't she. Lilya."

Han's face lit up. "She is."

Luke thought about telling Han about how strong Lilya was in the Force, that he was pretty sure she had the potential to be a Jedi herself. But he realized that this subject also involved Leia, and that he'd probably better tell her first. Leia wasn't even aware of the power _she_ had yet.

 _Time to change the subject again_. Plus, Luke was curious. "So, what's the project?"

"Huh?"

"You said you were working on a project."

"Oh, yeah. Just a little upgrade. Don't have the parts or the time to get it done before we leave, but it'll give me somethin' to work on when we get back."

Luke thought of the supplies he'd seen in the cabin. Crash webbing, anchoring bolts, a basin, pieces of an old medbay cot….he smiled and cocked his eyebrow at Han. "Han, are you building Lilya a nursery on the _Falcon_?"

Han grinned. "Tryin' to. Just gotta figure out how to make the crib secure enough. Thinkin' we can bolt it like we did Chewie's hammock, but I wanna be sure it's safe. You're pretty good with these things—you wanna help me take a look?"

"Sure." Luke followed Han back to the cabin.

* * *

"Alright, so usually I leave the speeches to Her Worship over here," Han said, nodding at Leia. "But since this is the first time we've all been together since Jabba's, I figure I oughta at least say thanks for gettin' me the hell out of there in one piece."

Leia, Luke, Lando, Chewie, Han, and Lilya had gathered on the _Falcon_ for one last dinner before the Endor mission, and Han was gearing up for an after-dinner toast.

He raised his bottle of whiskey as he spoke. "Now, in the old days, I'd get you all hammered and call it a night. But, I'm thinkin' we've got a better shot against the Empire tomorrow if we're not all hung over, so – one drink, and we'll make it a traditional Corellian toast." He started to pour a small glass of whiskey for each of them.

Lando suddenly looked nervous. "It's okay to toast you now?" he asked warily. Han gave him a confused look.

Chewie laughed. [He tried to have us do a Corellian toast for you when you were frozen,] he explained. [You know, the one you do to remember the dead. Little Princess almost sent him out the airlock.]

"We _both_ almost sent him out the airlock," Leia corrected.

"It was probably a good thing I was there to stop them," agreed Luke.

 _Woulda liked to see that_ , thought Han. "No, no, this is different." He held up his glass and began his toast:

"This drink be our pledge,  
The four directions, four spirits,  
Our health, our life, our love and blood,  
Today and always."

They all raised their glasses, following Han's lead, then took a drink.

"So, Leia, I gotta know. How did you convince the Alliance to pay to spring this guy?" Lando asked, sipping his whiskey.

Han leaned in. "The Alliance funded the rescue?" Leia hadn't mentioned that.

Leia shrugged. "Pretty simple. I made an official request at a briefing. Not much to tell."

Luke almost choked on his drink. "Uh, remember, I was _at_ that briefing. I'd say it was a little more badass than that."

"Badass?" Han didn't think he'd ever heard Luke use that word. "This I gotta hear."

 **Ten months earlier….**

"Commander Organa, your new business?"

Luke looked up. It wasn't uncommon for Leia to bring up new business at the joint briefing – in fact, she was normally one of the more active participants in these briefings. But today's request was a little out of the ordinary, and he knew she'd been preparing for it for awhile.

Leia's voice was clear. "Yes, Chancellor, I have two items." _Wait._ Two _items?_

"Go ahead, Commander." Although most people referred to her with her royal title, Mon Mothma made a point of using everyone's military titles in these briefings. Luke knew Leia actually preferred that.

"My first item is to request Alliance resources for a reconnaissance and rescue mission for Captain Solo." Luke noticed the squad leaders around him sit up and pay a bit more attention. The Alliance had made it clear that they could not afford to be in the business of conducting individual rescues, and Han had technically only been a contractor when he'd been taken. Supporting a rescue effort for him would definitely be out of the ordinary.

Leia was making a hell of a case, though. "Instrumental in the recovery of the plans for the Death Star," "recognized with distinction for his role in the victory at Yavin," three years of service to the Alliance as a trusted contractor and trainer for Alliance pilots, key procurement (read: smuggling) contact for Alliance goods, endured torture at the hands of the Empire while on Alliance business.

 _Very smart_ , thought Luke. Leia had included multiple examples of Han's service to the Alliance, and had alluded to several of the times he'd helped rescue her and Luke, but had presented them in a way that emphasized his value to the Alliance as a whole. _She doesn't want them to dismiss this as just a personal request_.

It was also a good idea for her to bring this up in the joint briefing rather than directly with High Command; Han was well liked among the pilots, and the request could not be dismissed out of hand in front of the squad leaders without hurting morale.

Leia continued, switching to a different line of argument. "The reconnaissance and rescue efforts will also benefit us in the growing threat posed by bounty hunters and major crime syndicates." She went on to share some recent data on the Empire's increased use of bounty hunters against the Alliance; the threats posed by the Hutt syndicate and related crime lords, particularly if the Empire chose to engage with them more directly; and the need to sow seeds against these crime syndicates in order to secure Alliance support from systems controlled by them, particularly those in the Outer Rim.

Luke was impressed. _Is this what she was like in the Senate?_ He knew she'd been poring over datapads and meeting with members of the intelligence team in her few hours of spare time recently. Obviously it had paid off.

Mon Mothma looked stern, though Cracken and Madine both seemed intrigued. Dodonna was scowling a bit. Ackbar was difficult to read. Rieekan was trying to maintain a neutral expression, although Luke could tell he was on the verge of a smile.

Mothma accepted the summary from Leia and handed the datapad to her assistant. "Thank you, Commander. We will add the request to our agenda at our next Review meeting. I assume that last point was your second item?"

Leia shifted in her seat, then sat up a little straighter. "No, Chancellor. My second item is a request for accommodations and a short leave of absence in a few months."

 _She's going to tell them, in front of everyone,_ Luke realized. Another smart move. "Certain members of High Command have an interest in my…continued suitability for marriage," Leia had told Luke. "For diplomatic purposes." Having a baby with a smuggler didn't really fit with that plan, and Leia feared pressure on her to make that complication go away, whether through marrying her off now or hiding her away until after she had the baby and pretending it had never happened.

"We will consider any leave for the proposed mission with that larger request, Commander." Mothma was clearly ready to move on.

Leia looked squarely at Mothma as she spoke. "This is a separate request, Chancellor. I will need some increased security accommodations and leave for the child I am expecting with Captain Solo."

Nobody gasped, but it almost seemed as if they had. The room was silent. Mon Mothma's mouth fell open for a second, then quickly closed. Rieekan's smile could no longer be contained.

Admiral Ackbar was the first to speak. "I assume congratulations are in order, Commander. We will take your specific request under consideration. And your earlier strategy regarding the crime syndicates was quite on point. I hope we can continue to count on your strategic mind to benefit the Alliance."

Leia smiled. "Of course, Admiral. Thank you."

The briefing ended shortly after. Luke was running late for patrol; Leia was engrossed in conversation with General Madine. Luke ran off, sending her a quick message through their connection: _You were amazing. Han would be proud._


	9. Chapter 9

Han woke up, slightly disoriented. He thought he'd heard something, but wasn't sure. _Maybe I dreamed it._ He'd had some strange dreams since coming out of hibernation, that was for sure.

No, there it was again. A soft sniffling, whimpering sound. _It's Lilya_. He looked over at Leia, who thankfully was still asleep. He slipped on a pair of pants and crept over to the crib.

Lilya was fussing, still softly, but her scrunched up face told him she was gearing up for more. He picked her up gently. "Hey, sweetheart, what's the matter?" he asked her.

 _Better figure out what it is before she starts crying for real._ He remembered the move he'd seen Leia do the previous night to check whether she was hungry, and ran his pinky along her cheek, near her little mouth. She immediately lunged for it. _Okay, hungry. I've seen this, I can handle this one._ Somehow he found and warmed up the bottle and got himself and the baby settled in one of the chairs in the sitting area without making the crying worse or waking up Leia.

He looked down at his daughter as she ate, and was met with those eyes again, locked on his face. So trusting, he almost wanted to cry. _I'm sorry we have to leave you, sweetheart,_ he thought. _I swear, we'll come back, if I have anything to say about it._ He smiled at her. _At least we had fun tonight, right? Well, eventually…._

He and Leia had had probably the most uncomfortable conversation of his life earlier that evening, after most of the group had left the _Falcon_. She'd made him promise that he would raise Lilya if he made it back but she didn't. "Chewie will help you. Luke will help you," she'd said. If he was worried about High Command, he shouldn't; evidently she'd had Rieekan and Mothma witness a document laying out her specific wishes in the event of her death.

Of course, neither of those things were the issue. Han didn't want to—couldn't— think about a scenario where he lost Leia like that. But he'd promised.

Thank the stars they'd still been on the _Falcon_ , and he had thought of an appropriate distraction.

"Hey, has Lilya been flying yet?"

It had been just the thing to break the tension. Chewie had gone to bed early, so Leia had served as co-pilot. Lilya adored flying. She cooed, giggled, and made "aaah!" noises as they did a series of loops and runs. They couldn't risk going far – being one of the more recognizable Alliance ships made them a target – but they were able to do quite a bit close to the system, and this time when he said "watch this" he was pretty sure Leia was actually impressed. _Of course, it helps when the ship actually…works_. It was like the best parts of their missions together, the joy of flight without the constant fear of what was on the horizon.

Lilya finished the bottle, and Han gently draped her over his shoulder to burp her, as Leia had showed him. _See, I ain't so bad at this_ , he thought. _We gotta make it back, I finally figured out what the hell I'm doing._ He kissed her lightly, and was about to put her back in the crib when he realized that a diaper change was probably in order too.

"See, darlin', you're gonna get the full treatment," he told his daughter softly, stealing a look at the bunk where Leia still lay sleeping. He tried to think of an appropriate song as he headed toward the changing table. Yeah, he knew the kid had been pulling his leg about the singing, but it seemed like something was in order. _Not sure my collection of cantina songs is going to do it_ , _though_ , he thought, grinning wryly.

 _Wait, how did that one song go?_

"Moon on the far side  
Clear skies at dawn  
Promise me, lovely  
You'll always come home  
Seeking your sunlight  
Under the stars  
Wherever my love goes  
You'll never be far…"

Lilya watched him with those eyes again as he crooned to her the old Corellian melody. After he got her changed, he continued singing softly, rocking her gently until he saw her eyelids flutter shut, then lowering her into the crib.

"See, you think I'm all right," he said, lingering by the crib to watch her for a moment.

When he returned from the 'fresher, he'd intended to sneak quietly back into bed, but was greeted by Leia's version of those eyes, watching him. He slipped back under the covers as she smiled at him.

"I like that song," she said quietly.

He wrapped her in his arms and began humming the same melody, as they drifted back to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, they were ready for takeoff, but Han was still staring at the _Falcon_ from his seat in the cockpit of the Imperial shuttle.

Leia nudged him. "Hey, you awake?"

"Yeah. I just got a funny feeling, like I'm never going to see her again." Leia knew he was talking about the _Falcon_ , but she also knew he was likely thinking about Lilya, whom they'd left with Kara a couple of hours ago.

During their flight with Lilya last night, they'd talked about what a shame it was that the _Falcon_ wasn't going to be in the battle, since they were running an undercover mission. "Fastest in the fleet. Can't believe she's going to sit this one out," Han had said. As much as Leia enjoyed insulting his bucket of bolts, the ship's speed was legendary, and the _Falcon_ had gotten them through quite the number of scrapes in the past.

Later, they'd started joking about Lando, his penchant for flowy capes, and the lengths to which he must have gone to coordinate his latest cape with his new general's uniform. "Doesn't the cape get in the way of flying?" Leia had wondered. And Han had put two and two together and realized the best way for the _Falcon_ to help the Alliance. Leia had seen him offering the ship to Lando that morning, and in the end insisting that he take it. _He's come a long way from mercenary,_ she thought.

She touched his shoulder gently. "Come on, General. Let's move."

The flight to Endor wasn't long – only a few hours in hyperspace, then a slow approach once they hit the system – and it was good to have the group back together again, even if the ship wasn't familiar. Luke didn't seem to want to talk about his side trip after Tatooine, so Leia gently steered the conversation towards sabacc games and funny anecdotes from old briefings, both subjects that seemed to bring out some glimpses of Luke's old carefree demeanor.

Han found one anecdote particularly amusing. After seeing Luke practicing with his lightsaber, Janson had questioned whether Luke might be using the Force to cheat at sabacc and had threatened to ban him from the Rogues' game.

"But you're _terrible_ at sabacc," Han said.

"I'm not that bad," Luke protested.

[No, not unless you get a really good hand. Then the whole table knows,] said Chewie. Luke's sabacc face had gotten better over time, but his Jedi training definitely had not translated to card games. Han and Leia were both much better at the bluffing that was pretty much a required part of winning at sabacc. Chewie also had a slight advantage in that Wookiees were a little harder for humans to read.

"So how'd you get back into the game?"

Luke grinned. "Wedge got them to let me back in provisionally. Then he let this one play—" he pointed at Leia—"and I think I still owe her some credits."'

The alert sounded, indicating that they were about to leave hyperspace and enter the system near Endor's moon. Luke's grin dropped and his expression immediately became more serious—understandable, now that the critical part of the mission had arrived. But Leia noticed that something was different. _That thing that's troubling him—it's back, whatever it is_ , she thought.


	10. Chapter 10

The sun was just starting to come up on Endor, but already the air was thick and humid. Leia opened her eyes slowly and stole a quick look at her chrono. _Figures_ , she thought. Her body had a habit of waking her up about 30 minutes before her chrono alarm was set, and this morning was no exception.

She did feel a lot better than she had last night. _The sky will be blue again in the morning_ , her mother used to say. Bail may have been Leia's champion and ally in most things ( _you two are like peas in a pod,_ her mother also used to say, laughing) but Breha was the one who could soothe Leia like no other. When she was sad, or scared, or angry, or just full of thoughts and couldn't sleep, her mother would stroke her hair and tell her – _Lelila, the sky will be blue again in the morning_. And she was right; it was always better in the morning. There was always hope.

It helped that she had woken up with Han's body gently curled around hers this morning. Even after their fight on the bridge last night – the first time they'd fought since they got back from Tatooine, she realized – he'd obeyed when she'd asked him to just hold her. He'd held her on the bridge, then come with her back to the hut where they were spending the night and held her there, too. Just held her.

She hated that they had fought. This wasn't like the fights they'd had on Hoth, all the stupid arguments they'd had about his ship being a piece of bantha shit or him not following Alliance protocol or her acting like a high-and-mighty priss or her being married to duty and to the Alliance. All those arguments really weren't about those things they were supposedly about anyway. They were about a princess who'd lost everyone she'd loved and couldn't bear to feel how that felt, and a smuggler who'd never had anyone give a damn about him without an ulterior motive, who made sure to leave before he could get left.

This fight was about secrets and about finding out the person who had created every nightmare in your life had also helped to create you. And knowing that the same power he'd used to do all those horrible things was in you, and your brother, and your daughter… _This will make that conversation about who should raise Lilya if I die seem like a really fun time_ , Leia thought.

But Han didn't even know what they'd fought about. That's why they'd had the fight.

"I—I can't tell you." _Not now. Maybe not ever._

"Oh, but you could tell Luke? Is that who you could tell?"

 _Luke. My brother_. She hadn't known, really, though it clicked so completely when he told her he had a sister that it felt like she always had. They'd already known they had the same birthday, but they really didn't look particularly like siblings. Han had admitted once that he originally thought Leia was older, just because Luke seemed to act so much younger. Luke had definitely aged in the last year, though.

 _That's it_ , Leia realized. _That's why he's been so troubled all this time. He must have found out on Bespin_. To live with this secret, all by himself…

She thought of where he was going, to face Vader. She'd just told Han that Luke had left because he was afraid Vader would feel his presence, and made some vague reference to a Jedi thing he said he had to do. Which was true, just not the entire truth. She wanted to reach out to Luke, to give him comfort, but as he was leaving he'd warned her not to reach out to him through their connection, said he was closing it for awhile. _I don't want Vader to find you, or find her_ , said his voice in her head, and she knew he meant Lilya.

 _Oh, gods, Lilya,_ she thought. _What have I done?_ _How will I protect her? What am I going to do when I get back? If I get back…._ Her thoughts started to race again, like they had last night, until she remembered another thing her mother used to say when Leia started to panic and get ahead of herself: _You'll never catch the falcon by running after it, Leia. Let the falcon come to you_. She had to smile at that one.

 _Mother_ , she thought longingly. She'd thought of her often in the last year or so, especially after finding out she was pregnant, and in the early days and weeks of motherhood, when she'd alternated between an intense love for Lilya and a sleep-deprived conviction that she was losing her mind and might be the worst mother ever. Breha had never been able to carry a child to term, so when Leia came to them, she'd thrown herself into motherhood with everything she had. Many royal houses would leave the care of children primarily to nannies and governesses, but Breha was the exception. It helped that Bail shared her zeal for parenthood, and that theirs was a true partnership.

 _Mother was right_ , she thought to herself. _Let the falcon come to me. One thing at a time._ She took a deep breath. _First, the mission. Then, I'll tell Han, and I'll let him go if I have to. He's already suffered enough for my sake. And if I have to do it to protect her, I'll let Lilya go, too._ She tried not to get ahead of herself, to think too much about what letting them go would mean, how it would break her heart. And she didn't want to die today, but if she did, at least she would do so trying to repair what her original family had broken. Lilya could go with Han, or with a nice Alderaani couple, her own Bail and Breha.

She checked her chrono again. Five more minutes. She snuggled into Han's arms, savoring his touch for just a little while longer.

* * *

Han was grateful to have the mission to focus on this morning. Things had gotten weird yesterday, even for him. First, it was like a dark cloud had descended on Luke the minute they got near that command ship. _Does becoming a Jedi just mean you brood all the time?_ Then, they got through that okay, but the rest of the day, he could see Leia looking at Luke in a different way. Like she was looking for something, checking on him.

Then he thought they'd lost Leia after she went missing chasing those speeders, only to find her in a village of little furry…whatevers, her hair down and wearing a dress for the first time for a long time, as far as he could remember. And, of course, nearly being dinner for those little furry bastards until Luke managed to float that damned droid in the air. Weird.

And something was going on between Leia and Luke, that was for sure. _What happened while I was gone?_ He knew neither one of them would have done anything to hurt him, but they seemed to share something he didn't understand. Maybe that's what the tears were about, what Luke's leaving so suddenly was about. The kid loved her and was trying to do the right thing by going away. _Maybe she loves us both_. That feeling he'd had on the way back from Tatooine returned, that sense that everyone else but him knew what the hell was going on.

Despite his confusion, Han realized he loved Leia more than ever. _I won't let her sacrifice herself for me,_ he thought. _When we get through this, I'll let her go if I have to. If Luke's the one she loves, she deserves to be with him._ He knew Leia would never keep him from his daughter, no matter what happened between them.

He felt Leia snuggle into him. _But first, I'm going to hold her for as long as I can_.


	11. Chapter 11

_Pretty sure this ain't a good answer to a marriage proposal,_ thought Han ruefully. He'd brought Leia to a hillside overlooking the Endor celebrations, a perfect spot. They'd defeated the Empire, turned the corner on the war. Luke was her kriffin' _brother_ , not his rival; Han knew that he was the one she loved.

But as soon as he'd gotten the question out, Leia had looked like she was about to burst into tears, and not in a happy-crying sort of way. Her face was stricken; to be honest, she looked just like she had last night in the Ewok village, when she'd been so upset and wouldn't tell him what was going on. _Somehow, I've really kriffed this up, haven't I_.

With some effort, Leia managed to compose herself enough to speak. "Han, I…need to tell you something." She could barely look at him. _Oh, no_ , he thought. _This is it. She's going to try to let me down easy._

And then she told him. That her father, and Luke's, was the man who had terrorized the galaxy for twenty-some years; tortured her mercilessly on the Death Star; made her watch while Tarkin blew up Alderaan and everyone she loved with it; tortured them all in Bespin; froze Han in carbonite and handed him off to the bounty hunter; and cut off Luke's hand. And she could understand if Han didn't want to have anything to do with her again–

He stopped her by putting his hand gently to her cheek. "Leia," he said, cupping her face with his hand. "Sweetheart."

She started to turn away, and he stopped her. "No – let me say this. First off – I don't give a bantha's ass who your father is. Was. I ain't in it for your family. I love _you_ , Leia. And I'm sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else. It's…it's a hell of a break." He took her into his arms, holding her the way he'd held her last night, comforting her.

He thought of something else. "Y'know, you have a father already. We toasted him on his birthday. Bail was your father, in every way that matters. Always will be." She sank further into his arms, and he stroked her hair gently.

She pulled away and took a deep breath. "It's not just that. It's…Vader had the Force. He was a Jedi, very powerful, and he went to the Dark Side. You know Luke has it, too. And I—" she looked at Han – "I have it, and I…I think I gave it to Lilya, and…" She stopped and started to put her head in her hands. "What if I become… _that_? The things he did to us, to his own children... And I've doomed Lilya with this, she's just a baby, she doesn't deserve this…" She was becoming increasingly agitated as she spoke.

Han touched her shoulder to stop her again, then gently brought them together so that their foreheads were touching. "I hear ya. I really do." He gently rubbed her shoulder as he tried to find the right words to reassure her.

"Listen, I don't know much about this Force business." _Understatement of the year, there_. "But I know Luke and I know you. You're not going dark. You didn't go dark after Tarkin blew up your kriffin' _planet_ , or after I went into the deep freeze. Luke didn't go dark after Vader tortured us and cut off his hand." He kept searching his mind for more examples, to tell her, to show her…"You used the Force to find Luke and save him, you and Luke both are a hell of a lot better 'n _me_ , and if Lilya has the Force thing too, she's not doomed, she's a kriffin' miracle, and—" Han stopped when Leia's worried expression suddenly changed to a slight smile. "What? I say somethin' right?"

She nodded and took his hand, smiling a little more now. "I never told you how Lilya got her name."

* * *

 **A year earlier…**

Empty, Numb. _It feels like Alderaan_ , Leia realized, already angry at herself for the betrayal that feeling represented. _How could anything feel like losing Alderaan_? _How could losing one person compare to losing millions, including everyone you'd loved, everyone in your family, your entire home?_ And perhaps he wasn't even lost forever. He was alive, at least he was when they took him. _Please be alive_ , Leia prayed. _Please_.

She discarded the data pad she was pretending to read and sat back in her chair. In some ways, it felt worse than Alderaan. (Another betraying thought.) At least with Alderaan, people understood. Or at least pretended they understood. With this– well, hardly anyone even knew she'd lost something, it seemed. They knew she was missing a friend, but they didn't _know_.

She'd tried to do what she'd done before: soldier on, throw herself into the Rebellion full force, dive into battle plans and intelligence and lists of potential allies and strategy sessions. Now she could barely make herself care. She still cared in her head. But she felt like her fire had been frozen along with Han.

Carlist understood, she realized. He'd come to see her after her debriefing from Bespin, when she felt she'd been answering questions forever and had no answers left. All she'd wanted that afternoon was to be left alone, and when she finally was, she had found herself hating it. That's when he'd knocked on her door. "Lelila," he'd said, using her childhood nickname. There was nothing else to say. He had held her like her father used to, just stood there holding her silently, without asking anything of her or telling her anything.

And Luke. Luke got it. Probably because he seemed like he'd had a hole blown through him too. Part of it was Han – clearly Luke blamed himself for making them the bait in Vader's trap – and part of it was the trauma of having a hand amputated, but it was more than that. Something else had happened. He had the same distant look she recognized in herself, in which you're present and participating, but you're not really there the way you were before. Like you were watching yourself be alive.

She was worried about him, and she knew he was worried about her. So it was a relief when he'd shown up at her door one night when she should have been sleeping but wasn't. He'd brought tea, and they'd talked.

It had became a daily thing – as long as Luke or Leia wasn't gone on a mission, he would come by, and they would drink tea, or blue milk, and talk. There was something comforting about Luke, something that made her feel like she could tell him anything, even things she worried would hurt him.

"I'm sorry," she'd said, after telling him she had fallen in love with Han.

"Don't be," he'd smiled. "I know. What you and I have…it's different than that. It's still love, it's just not that kind."

He'd gotten back from a mission earlier today, and Leia was anxiously waiting for him to come by. She'd started thinking – _what if Han is dead?_ – and it was plaguing her brain, making her feel even more useless than usual. She needed to ask Luke–

A knock at the door, and she opened it to find him. _How do you always know?_ She hugged him and let him in. She already had mugs set out in their usual places. (She'd considered offering wine or whiskey instead, but figured the night would probably end in suicide or alcohol poisoning if she did that.)

They were sipping their tea when she asked him.

"I have a question. About the Force."

"What is it?"

"You were able to call to me. And you were able to find us on Bespin. Are you…can you feel…"

"Can I feel Han?"

"Yes."

He set his mug down. "I've been working on that. I think it's different, because he's in hibernation. And because it's one person and not three of you. I think…" he paused and grimaced, "I think Vader found a way to amplify your pain, so I would find you."

Both of them took another sip of tea.

Luke sat up straighter. "It's actually a pretty simple meditation. We could do it together. It might even help you sleep."

Leia considered that. She was reluctant, but if she could get some glimmer of hope, something to chase _Han is dead_ out of her head, just for a little bit…

"Okay. What do we need to do?"

A few minutes later, they were sitting on the floor cross-legged, facing each other but with eyes closed, as Luke led them through the meditation.

"Okay, just be aware of your breathing for a few minutes." They both stopped and listened.

"Now, I'm going to start talking to you through the Force, like I did when you found me. That's to open our connection, so we can meditate together. If you hear me, you don't have to say anything, I'll just know. Is that okay?"

"Yes."

 _Leia, do you hear me?_  
 _Good. Now, we're just going to feel the Force flow through each of us. Like blood pumping through our veins. It's like a stream, we just let ourselves go with it and follow it._  
 _Can you feel it?_  
 _Good._  
 _Just follow the stream, let it flow._  
 _Good._  
 _Okay, now we're reaching out for Han. We don't have to try, we're just going to feel our feelings for him._  
 _Yes, all of them. Even the driving you crazy parts. It's all part of him. Just let it flow._

Leia's eyes were closed, but she saw…or _felt_ …a spark. A tiny spark. Like a star, shining from far away. _Han?_ And then she felt something else. Like someone was…there. That light was brighter, but smaller. Different. She remembered Han kissing her in the circuitry bay, after she'd called him a scoundrel. The faraway star felt a little stronger. She let other thoughts flow through her. _I'm glad I told you I loved you_ , she thought. _I still do, I do._

Luke gently ended their connection and opened his eyes. "You felt him."

Leia opened her eyes as well, with a look of wonder. "I did. I think I did."

"I felt him too. It's still weak, probably because of the hibernation. I probably won't be able to find where he is from this. But he's there. He's alive."

 _He's alive. What a beautiful thing to hear. To know._

"Luke, did you—"

"Did I feel something else?"

"Yes." Leia was trying to place it. It was almost like she could still feel it.

"I did. I don't quite know what it was. Maybe it has something to do with doing the meditation together," he mused. "I definitely got a stronger sense of Han this time. I can feel him more when I'm with you."

Later that night, after Luke had left, Leia had the first of the dreams.

 _They were on the platform at Bespin. Gases swirled around them, the platform lit in orange and red. Han had just quieted Chewie, told him to take care of Leia. He paused, and suddenly, for a minute, his hands were out of the shackles. He pressed something into her hand, something tender and soft._  
 _"Take care of this for me, until I can get back."_  
 _Then he was in the shackles again, and they were kissing before the stormtroopers pulled him away._  
 _"I love you!"_  
 _"I know."_

She woke up to the same feeling she'd had after the meditation, the same sense that she wasn't alone. _Hold on, Han,_ she thought. _I love you._

Soon, Luke and Leia were ending each of their talks with a meditation, using the Force to reach out to Han. They still weren't able to find where he was, but they felt his light. Sometimes they felt the other thing, the presence. And periodically, Leia would have the same dream about Bespin.

Their talks and meditations started to make life a little easier for them both, a little less isolated. Leia still felt like there were things Luke wasn't telling her, but she didn't press him. _He'll tell me when he's ready and not a minute before_ , she thought, remembering how long it had taken her to confide in Han about her time on the Death Star.

About a month after their return to the Alliance, Luke went on a mission and was gone for several days. After enduring two nights of fitful sleep (the _Han is dead_ mantra had returned to her brain), Leia decided to try doing the meditation by herself.

 _Breathe in, breathe out.  
Feel the Force. Flowing like the blood in my veins. Like a stream. Gentle, part of me.  
Let it go, let it flow.  
I love you, Han…. _She let the memories flow through her. Arguing with him on Hoth. His laugh, his ridiculous jokes. The wink in his eye after she gave him his medal on Yavin. That smirk, that knowing look. Snuggling with him in his cabin on the _Falcon_. The way he comforted her when she woke up from a nightmare.

She felt love, peace. _He's alive. We'll find you, Han, I swear. I love you._

She opened her eyes. She'd done it, alone. She'd felt Han. And he was alive. _Wait, did I just do a Jedi thing? Can I use the Force?_ She was pretty sure that was just a Luke thing, so she shrugged it off. _It's probably just because Luke has done this meditation with me so many times._

That night, she had the dream again.

 _Platform at Bespin. Red-gold light, full of shadows. Han telling Chewie to save his strength, to take care of the Princess. Then turning to Leia, pressing something into her hand. The bud of a flower. Closing her hand around the bud._  
 _"Take care of her, until I can get back to you."_  
 _Their kiss, broken by stormtroopers._  
 _"I love you!"_  
 _"I know."_

Leia awoke. _I'm not alone_ , she thought, feeling the presence again.

And then she realized what it was. What _she_ was.

 _I'm pregnant_.

The sudden rush of joy almost took her breath away.

* * *

Labor had been difficult, but thankfully Luke had been there to help her through it. He'd taught her some relaxation techniques that had made moving through the pain more bearable. And he'd held her hand, as her daughter – Han's daughter – came into the galaxy. _No matter what, I will always have a part of Han with me_ , she thought, looking at her daughter's tiny face, already in love with her.

Still, she was exhausted. And she hadn't figured out a name yet. None of the ones she had been considering seemed quite right. She'd definitely settled on Breha as a middle name, Organa-Solo as a last name. Luke assured her she could sleep on it, that she needed her rest.

She woke up later to find Luke still hanging out in her room, holding the baby, and a vase of flowers sitting on the table by her bed.

 _The flower. That's the flower._

Luke saw her staring at them. "Oh, yeah, Wedge brought those by while you were sleeping. They're from the Rogues. He said they were Corellian lilies."

 _Han gave me a Corellian lily._

"Lilya," Leia said. "Her name is Lilya."


End file.
